You Are What You Pretend to Eat

Parenthood is great—at first.

Oh, sure, you dads of newborns may feel differently. You’ll whine about the diapers and the midnight feedings and such. But those early months are truly precious, because it’s the only time when you ever have complete, utter power over your children’s lives.

You want to go to the store? They’re going to go to the store. You want them to go to bed? They’re going to go to bed. Sure, maybe they’ll stay awake for hours and hours just to spite you.

Being a Dad is One of the Most Important Things You’ll Ever Fail

Jim Gaffigan just posted the following on Twitter and it got my brain chewing at a furious rate:

Being a father is definitely the most important thing I will fail at in my life.

— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) October 23, 2014

Responses varied. Some chuckled. A few chortled. Several sympathized. Others consoled.

I just chewed… and chewed and chewed. (I think Jim would be proud of me.)

And now, after all the chewing, I think something important is finally dawning on me…

Failures of Epic Proportions…

You’re going to fail at being a father.

Am I The Worst Dad in the World?

Sometimes I contemplate this question: Am I the worst dad in the world? The answer, ultimately, is “No.” But, what is it that makes me go there? I suppose the thought pops up when I’m feeling like I’ve “blown it.”

For example, last weekend was particularly tough on the family. Earlier in the week, we’d returned from a family vacation where our normal schedule was thrown out the door. That always leads to cranky daughters, and occasionally cranky parents (I never knew how much I’d become accustomed to the schedule, too).