Here at Focus on the Family, we are all about family and adoption. Adoption is something that now that my kids are older, my wife and I have seriously considered. We know we have lots of love to give and we feel our hearts being prompted to look into this. One of my dear friends has adopted several children and works for an organization that sees families through the adoption process. Recently,she asked me about adoption and how dads view the process. She gave me a story of one family’s journey through adoption and I would love to share a little bit of the Dad’s perspective as he journeyed through the adoption process… His name is Chris Smith and he shares some of his experience as an adoptive parent and the relationship with the birth parents:
An Adoptive Father’s Perspective:
Being at the beginning of the adoption process can be an overwhelming and scary experience. After now having two incredible adoptions, I hope that maybe my experience can help to settle some of your nerves as you begin moving forward with this process. Some of the biggest concerns that I had were bonding with the new child and how to navigate an open adoption.
First, it’s important to realize that adoption is a very spiritual process. This is not a process of random chance. God has a baby or babies in mind that are meant to come to your family. As such, God will not set you up for failure. If you just have the desire to love that child, you will. I don’t like to use the phrase “love the child as your own.” Your child is your child. They may have found another way into your life, but that does not make them any less of your child.
Second, open adoptions are rarely understood by those who have never adopted. The birth parents who choose you feel a connection with you. That is why they are choosing you. These parents love their babies very much and have come to realize that circumstances make it unable for them to give a child the life he or she deserves. From the very beginning, you will have a bond with those birth parents. At first that bond may revolve solely around the child, and that is okay. Over time, your bond with the birth parents will continue to grow and develop. In my case, that became extremely clear on Halloween night with my second daughter’s birth father. Originally he was coming by to see her on her first Halloween. Since she was only 3 months old at the time, she didn’t last too long into the night before it was time for bed. After she was put down, he stayed with us for a few hours. He and I were able to talk not only about Ellie, but also about sports, school, video games, etc. That night I came to the realization that with this whole process, I have also gained a genuine friend. Having your child’s birth parents in your life and your child’s life is a great blessing. Treat it as such.
They have an amazing story and please read about their journey here.
Focus is all about family and honestly when I see these kids in conditions and in homes that do not show them value, it breaks my heart! I feel such a tug that I wish I could adopt them all and just provide the love that they need and desire.
There are many stories out there that can give you the feeling like you should adopt. But I encourage you that you follow what the Lord is putting on your heart. There are so many children out there who just need a loving home and so many people who want to give that love to the children. Follow what the Lord has been prompting you on…He will make a way for it to happen.
I recently had the privilege of previewing our latest movie, “The Dropbox” and I can tell you I cried at how special these kids are and how much they just need a loving home. If you have any desire in your heart to adopt, or the Lord has been leading you in that direction, I would encourage you to watch this movie when it comes out in movie theaters in March of 2015.